


Pokemon Skull & Pokemon Bones

by Yoshichao



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, LOTS of pokemon with each chapter pretty much being centered on a specific one, NOT an 'all the aus in one place' fic but maybe i'll write something like that later, Pokemon AU, Pre-Undertale, Told Out of Order, Undertale Genocide Route, Undertale Pacifist Route, au where pokemon exist in the undertale world, if no one has come up with this fic title before i am going to flip out a window, other undertale characters to appear but not as regulars, rated T for A FEW SWEARS and also for horrortale's references to cannibalism, setting is mostly undertale but there will be some deltarune scenes here and there, some deltarune/gaster headcanons but they're not the focus, sorry i only know how to write skeletons, there isn't really a plot just scenes of skeletons interacting with pokemon, we're just hopping all over the timeline here, will probably have about 50-60 chapters in the end idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-29 14:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21411697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoshichao/pseuds/Yoshichao
Summary: In which monsters and Pokemon live alongside each other.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 15





	1. Papyrus' First Pokemon (UT/US/SF/UF)

**Author's Note:**

> sooooo i normally have a "three finished chapters rule" before i start posting a fanfic but last night i was lying awake with an intense urge to post this fanfic so i am succumbing to that urge now. as a note: chapter 1 & 2 (which will be posted probably a week from now) were written almost a year ago and while i've started on chapter 3, i probably won't be finishing it any time soon so if you enjoy this and want more... please forgive me...
> 
> over a year ago i had the desire to assign pokemon to the skelebros and some of their au counterparts with the rule that there could only be ONE constant/repeat for each brother (with the exception of horrortale since they are a branch off the canon timeline - but even they have many different pokemon from the UT guys!). one thing lead to another and i started writing a fanfic about it? each skelebro has a "team" that would be assembled either on the surface or in certain dire situations, but otherwise this fic mostly follows the idea of monsters and pokemon co-existing and being friends, rather than monsters exclusively being trainers. of course, different AUs may have greater emphasis on the trainer aspect...
> 
> most entries will take place while the monsters live underground in Undertale, so please do not let the first chapter being a Deltarune one set your expectations to otherwise lol.
> 
> as an aside: i started writing this BEFORE gen 8 pokemon were being announced/leaked by the truckload so unfortunately none are planned for the "main teams", but maybe some will make it in down the line in various ways.
> 
> anyways even though the AUs aren't interacting, i gave them their nicknames just so its easier to keep track of them ALSO just in case i do cross em over eventually lol. i may or may not do one-offs with other AUs but these are going to be the reoccurring ones. i will also put the AU names in the chapter titles in case you just want to read certain ones!
> 
> Undertale: Sans & Papyrus  
Underfell: Red & Edge  
Underswap: Blue & Stretch  
Swapfell: Black & Rus  
Horrortale: Axe & Crooks

_ “Sans, don’t you think Papyrus is old enough for a Pokemon now?” _

The skeleton pauses to glance over at the telepath, his left eye lit up in a blue glow as a stack of boxes hovers in the air just above him. Sans stares at the blue-and-black dog-like humanoid before looking back towards the floating boxes as he places them onto the shelf. 

“this again? you trying to  _ poke  _ my buttons or something, ri?”

The Lucario just sighs at the pun, putting their own boxes onto the floor so they can focus fully on the skeleton. _ “I’m serious this time, Sans. You can’t keep putting it off. This is an unfamiliar town and he needs someone who can protect him when you’re not around.” _

Eyes returning to their normal white lights, Sans takes the conversation as an opportunity to plop down on one of the large boxes they’re supposed to be unpacking. He just grins at Lucario, who is staring at him, unamused.

“c’mon, this sleepy little town? dangerous? i know you’ve always been paranoid, but you’ve gotta be pulling my fibula, right?”

_ “Sans.” _ Lucario is trying so hard to look unimpressed, and that’s how Sans knows his puns are getting to them. He can’t help but chuckle even as the Pokemon scowls.  _ “I’ve already told you: there’s something wrong with the aura of this place. I don’t like it. If nothing else, I want to know your brother has someone looking after him.” _

“ri, come on. we live right next door. did you want to go check on him? cuz while you do that, i will stay here and keep these boxes company. they get lonely when there’s no one around to help unpack them, y’know.”

Lucario sighs and shakes their head.  _ “I’m not giving you an excuse to put this off for another day. All I’m saying is… I think Papyrus would have an easier time making friends if he had a Pokemon partner at his side.” _

Aw geez. There it is: the weakpoint.

_ “He would probably find it easier to relate to other people--” _

“ok, sheesh, i get it. you’re right.” Sans really wants his brother to make friends, of course. He’s just so cool and he deserves to have  _ all  _ the friends. But it’s not a secret that Papyrus has trouble with it sometimes, and one day Sans’ company and praises just aren’t going to be enough for him. And if there really is something going on in this town… Sans doesn’t want his brother to stumble upon it alone.

But here comes the hard part: what Pokemon would be best for his cool bro?

“guess i have to find him something…” Sans mumbles, scratching his head as he tries to think of what wild Pokemon live around here. He’d love to give Papyrus something strong, but Sans himself has never been one to train Pokemon, and he doesn’t know how loyal a wild Pokemon would be for his bro. Sure, his bro is  _ the coolest in the world, _ but… not everyone seems to agree with that, unfortunately. 

A box sliding all on its own out of the corner of his eye pulls him from his thoughts.

“hey buddy, how long have you been at that?” Sans chuckles as he gets up and walks over to the box, peeking over the side. As expected, his Cubone has been trying to help move things in, despite being much weaker than the others. The skeleton scoops up the small brown Pokemon in his arms and looks at it with a lazy grin as it slumps in on itself, exhausted.

“aww, poor thing. why don’t you take a  _ load  _ off over--” And as he’s moving to put Cubone down somewhere it can rest, he suddenly stops. He looks up at Lucario, who hasn’t caught on to his thought process yet.

“hey kiddo,” Sans says to Cubone, lifting it higher so he can look it in the face. “you like my bro, right?”

Suddenly rejuvenated, Cubone lets out a cry of glee from the mere mention of Papyrus. Of course they like Papyrus!! He is THE BEST! They always go on amazing adventures and play fun games together! And, by the way, when do they go home so they can see him again?? Sans just chuckles at Cubone’s excitement.

“actually, we can go see him right now if you want.” As Cubone yips in excitement, Lucario looks on with concern.

_ “Are you sure about this? Wasn’t Cubone your first Pokemon - are you sure you want to give them to Papyrus…?” _

Sans shrugs. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling a pang of emotion, but he wasn’t going to admit that aloud. “hey, it’s not like anyone’s going anywhere. cubone just gets to hang out with my bro more.”

Enthusiasm ebbs away as they realize what’s going on, and Cubone gives Sans a questioning look, as if asking “wait, you don’t want me to be your Pokemon anymore?”. 

“that’s not it - you’re the coolest ‘mon i’ve ever met.” Cubone smiles at the praise, but is still clearly confused. “but i’ve never been the best ‘trainer’ for you. i mean, ‘training’ is my least favourite word next to ‘work’, heh. but my bro’s got tons of energy, i’m sure he’d be able to bring out your full potential. you two would make an unstoppable team.”

Behind its skull, Cubone’s eyes widen in excitement. Unable to contain itself, it starts jittering as if too happy to sit still in Sans’ hands, but it has half a mind to try and look sheepish. Sans chuckles again. 

“hey, don’t worry about it. we’ll still be able to hang out. i just think pap would be happy to have a pokemon pal that recognizes how cool he is, y’know?”

Cubone nods, understanding what Sans is getting at. Satisfied to have come to a conclusion, Sans looks back towards Lucario, who had been watching the exchange quietly.

“welp, we’re gonna tell papyrus the good news. keep working while i’m gone, ok ri?”

_ “Hey! Don’t dawdle, thinking I’m going to do all the work for you! There will be plenty of boxes for you when you get back.” _

Sans cheekily waves them off, exiting the building with Cubone in his arms. The little Pokemon immediately crawls out of his hands and onto his shoulder, trying to climb onto his head. Sans just lets them do their thing as he walks down the path to reach the front of their house. It takes him less than a minute to reach the door - Cubone is still struggling to sit on his skull when he’s stepping inside the house.

“we’re home!” Immediately, a blue-and-white fluffball flies over and perches on Sans’ skull, stealing the spot before Cubone could climb back up after sliding off. Cubone lets out a frustrated cry as the Swablu immediately dozes off.

“BROTHER, AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING?” Papyrus gets up from the floor where he had been playing with action figures. Stars, he’s gotten so  _ tall  _ recently, Sans isn’t used to having to look up at him.

“it’s ok, i’m on break right now.”

“UNBELIEVABLE!” Papyrus throws his arms into the air in exasperation. “THE STORE ISN’T EVEN OPEN YET AND YOU’RE ALREADY SLACKING OFF?! THIS IS A NEW RECORD, EVEN FOR YOU, SANS!!!”

“well you know what they say: old habits are hard to  _ break. _ ”

“SANS!”

It’s just  _ too  _ fun to get this guy worked up. But Sans knows he should be getting back, so he puts away the puns just long enough to grab Cubone from his shoulder and hold him out to his brother.

“actually, we stopped by cuz cubone wanted to see you. said they wanna explore the town with you, as pokemon and trainer.”

“EXPLORE?? OF COURSE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WOULD BE HAPPY TO-- WAIT.” As he’s taking the excited Pokemon into his arms, Papyrus registers the rest of Sans’ words. “BUT… I’M NOT CUBONE’S TRAINER! THAT’S YOU, SANS!”

“not anymore.” Sans can’t help but chuckle as his bro’s eyes seem to boggle out in different directions. “we talked about it, and i’m just not what cubone needs in a trainer. they have too much energy, i just can’t keep up with it. besides, it’s about time you got a pokemon of your own, right?”

Papyrus gasps and looks to Cubone as if to confirm what Sans is saying. When the Pokemon yips in affirmation, Papyrus practically squeals and twirls the little Pokemon around.

“OH BOY!!! FINALLY, A POKEMON OF MY OWN! THANK YOU, SANS! AND THANK YOU, CUBONE!” He hugs Cubone tight, who reciprocates and hops onto Papyrus’ shoulder as soon as the hug ends. “I PROMISE TOGETHER WE WILL BE THE GREATEST - AND COOLEST! - DUO YOU’VE EVER SEEN! I WON’T LET YOU DOWN! GOOD-BYE, BROTHER - WE ARE GOING TO GO ON OUR ADVENTURE NOW! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Sans barely has time to move out of the way before his brother is racing out of the door. He calls after them “don’t stay out too late!” like an overprotective mother hen, but neither of them seem to hear him when they are already halfway down the block. He realizes too late that he forgot to give Papyrus Cubone’s Poke Ball, but oh well. He’ll remember to do that later. Regardless, their unfiltered joy brings Sans more warmth than worry, and he hums a tune to himself the whole way back to the building next door.

Yep, they’ll be fine.

* * *

“PAPY! ARE YOU READY FOR… YOUR VERY OWN POKEMON???”

Stretch looks up from the book he’s reading on the couch to see his big bro’s proud grin. His Minior is floating beside him and lets out a happy chime, sharing his trainer’s enthusiasm. 

Needless to say, Stretch wasn’t expecting  _ this  _ had been the reason for his bro’s good mood all day.

“really? i get a pokemon?” Book completely forgotten, Stretch slides off the couch and approaches his brother. 

“MWEH HEH HEH! OF COURSE! THE BROTHER OF THE MAGNIFICENT SANS NEEDS TO HAVE A MAGNIFICENT POKEMON, AND SO! I HAVE! FOUND! THE BEST POKEMON OF THEM ALL!!! DA-DA-DA-DAAAA!”

Blue points to the kitchen with two dramatic fingers. Nothing happens for a moment, and Stretch wonders if he is supposed to go see it for himself… but then finally, a familiar Pokemon lazily trudges out from the room, yawning as if it had just woken up from a nap.

“CUBONE, DID YOU FALL ASLEEP IN THERE??? YOU WERE ONLY THERE FOR A MINUTE!”

“...you’re giving me cubone?” Anyone else would probably be disappointed by getting such a lazy Pokemon, but Stretch is just in awe. He thinks his bro’s Cubone is sooo cool! Like trainer like Pokemon! “but isn’t that  _ your  _ pokemon?”

“WELL, YES, BUT…” Blue pauses to think, unsure how to explain his thought process. “...THEY LIKE YOU A LOT MORE, PAPY! SO THAT’S WHY I THINK YOU’RE BOTH A GOOD FIT! I WANT YOU BOTH TO PUSH EACH OTHER TO BE THE BEST THERE EVER WAS, OKAY?!”

Stretch looks to Cubone, who seems to be avoiding his gaze. Cubone likes him more than his bro?? That must be a mistake! His bro is so cool - who wouldn’t like him? Especially compared to someone like himself!

“...ok.” Stretch agrees anyways because he doesn’t want to let his bro down. Can he really be a good trainer for Cubone, though? Blue doesn’t catch onto his younger brother’s worries and simply beams.

“GREAT! OKAY, I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK - YOU TWO HAVE FUN, ALRIGHT??”

“sure thing, bro.” Cubone doesn’t say anything, but Blue doesn’t seem to mind and bounds out the door, Minior gliding out with him. The door slams shut behind them, leaving Stretch and Cubone alone in silence.

...

...Well, now this is awkward.

Briefly, Stretch considers going back to his book, but his brother’s request is ringing in his head. He wants them to “be the best”, huh? Guess they can’t do that by just sitting around… The lanky skeleton’s eyes settle on the front door.

“hey cubone, wanna go for a walk?” Cubone’s gaze snaps over to him, clearly interested. He follows when Stretch makes for the door, and they both stop in front of it.

“c’mon… almost…!” Really, why was the doorknob so high?! Blue is always saying one day Stretch will grow to be as big as him, but geez, can’t it happen faster?? Being a kid  _ sucks _ , Stretch thinks to himself as the tips of his phalanges scrape the doorknob. He gasps when he suddenly feels something leap onto his back, and he quickly realizes it’s Cubone trying to climb onto his head. Staying as still as possible, he watches out of the corner of his sockets as Cubone reaches and turns the doorknob, finally opening the door for them.

“we did it!” Stretch has never been able to get outside without his brother before. He’s admittedly a bit nervous, but he knows he’ll be safe as long as Cubone is with him. As he shuts the door behind them, the little brown Pokemon hops off his head and starts walking down the street, and Stretch does a short jog to catch up before matching its pace.

The sun is high in the sky, casting shadows as its light filters through the yellow-orange trees. There is a gentle breeze rustling the leaves above them. A few fall from the trees and flutter overhead, dancing in the wind. What a peaceful little town! Moving somewhere new had been kind of scary, but now that he’s walking through it, Stretch thinks it’s quite a nice place. Granted, he hasn’t met anyone yet, but…

Beside him, Cubone suddenly perks up and runs ahead. Looking up, Stretch spots a familiar Pokemon and finds himself jogging over as well.

_ “Well hello, dear. It’s lovely to see you as well.” _ The tall black-and-white Pokemon with the feminine purple face picks up Cubone off the ground and holds them close. When she spots Stretch, she seems surprised for a moment but she’s soon smiling at him as well.  _ “And little Papyrus too! What are you two doing out here?” _

“hi gothitelle.” Stretch has known Gothitelle for as long as he could remember. She was a friend of the family and would always take him and Blue out stargazing. “we’re just going exploring. bro gave me his cubone for my first pokemon.”

_ “How wonderful! You two complement each other quite nicely, so I’m sure you’ll be a fine trainer, dear.” _

Stretch switches his focus back to Cubone, who is still snuggled up in Gothitelle’s arms. First his brother, and now her! Why do people keep saying they’re good for each other? He doesn’t get it. 

_ “Well, I won’t keep you for much longer.” _ Gothitelle puts Cubone - who whines a bit - back on the ground and gives Stretch a motherly pat on the skull.  _ “If you keep going along this road, you’ll find the diner. Once you’re done exploring, come stop by and I’ll treat you to some hot chocolate.” _

Mmm, he’s already excited for that! “ok. thanks gothitelle. see you later.”

_ “Stay safe, you two!” _ Gothitelle waves them off as they walk down a different path. While Stretch convinces Cubone to forget about the hot chocolate for now, he misses how Gothitelle’s expression turns somber, able to see something that the two cannot. Shaking her head, she continues down her own path.

Stretch was never a very active child, but he found himself enjoying their walk through the town. Everyone they ran into was very nice! At one point, he and Cubone found themselves mesmerized by the beautiful stained glass windows on the church. He’d never seen anything like it before.

Their adventure eventually led them off the path and into the woods. Further and further they got from the quiet little town, but Stretch didn’t mind. He liked walking amongst the trees. It was nothing but him, Cubone, the breeze, and the suspicious bunker out here in the middle of the woods.

...Wait.

The grassy path widened out into a clearing, and smack dab in the center was a very conspicuous hill. Walking around it revealed a secret giant red metallic door. It looked like it had been here a long time, if the ivy growing over it was any indication. Something about this door put Stretch on edge, but he couldn’t pinpoint why. All he knew that he was suddenly very aware of how quiet it was out here - no village noises, no chirping birds, not even any wind to speak of. It was just… quiet.

Cubone was the first to break the silence, letting out a noise that said “we should go back”. Stretch nodded, in full agreement… but he couldn’t find the will to move away.

Instead, he got closer.

Even if he could reach the door handles, he wouldn’t have wanted to. Instead, he placed his skull against the door, trying to hear a hint of what might be inside. It’s faint, but… it almost sounds like… whirring? Machines?

_ Click. _

Stretch leaps back from the door as if it had burnt him, tripping and falling on his behind as he scrambled to get away. Cubone stands in front of him in a battle-ready position, breathing hard from fright but ready to do whatever necessary to protect its trainer. Stretch knows he should get up, grab Cubone, and run back to town, but he’s paralyzed in his spot, eyelights fixed to the door. He watches with dread as the handle turns, and slowly, the door creaks open…

“Tra la la… Hmmmm? What’s this, a couple of kids outside my door? How peculiar!”

Struck speechless by the lighthearted voice, all Stretch can do is stare at the void under this person’s hood. Their blue cloak obscures all of their features, making it impossible to tell what kind of monster they are. Cubone continues to stand on guard, waiting for any sudden movements. The figure merely laughs, and it does nothing to dispel the tense atmosphere.

“Oh, come now! Don’t be shy, you have nothing to fear! Come in, come in, and we can have a cup of tea! Do you like tea? Tea, tea, tea… where oh where could it be…?”

The cloaked figure suddenly slinks back into the bunker and out of sight, leaving the door open. Their murmurs quickly fade as they retreat further into the shadowy unknown. Stretch and Cubone just stare at the open door a few moments longer, before looking at each other, discomfort plain in their expressions.

There is no way they are going in there.

Absolutely not.

...but maybe… just a peek inside wouldn’t hurt…

* * *

Nope.

Nope nope NOPE nope  ** _nope!!!_ **

The second the door handle clicks, Marowak grabs the little skeleton and books it out of the woods, carrying him all the way back to the “safety” of the little town. Sure, this shithole of a village wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but it was something familiar. Marowak and the older skeleton brother patrolled the entire town when they moved in, making damn sure everyone knew not to mess with them. But this? This suspicious bunker in the middle of nowhere that had been surrounded by traps? Nah, no thanks. It can keep its freaky secrets - at least until the Pokemon can inform Black of its findings and they can tackle it together. 

Marowak has a lot of confidence in their own skills - that’s why Black entrusted his younger brother to them, after all. But they can’t afford to enter unknown territory when their with such a fragile charge.

Once they’ve arrived back at the main road, Marowak finally puts down the quivering pile of bones. Little Rus was such a delicate thing - and delicate people were fated to be crushed into a pile of dust in this world. Marowak learned this the hard way long ago, and that’s why they trained and trained until it hardened itself into a fighting machine. Black was the only person who had ever earned their trust and respect. So when the short skeleton ordered it to be his little brother’s Pokemon from now on, Marowak agreed without complaint. 

Said little brother was… suddenly nowhere to be seen.

Panicked to have lost the bony little tyke so easily, Marowak looked around and was relieved to spot Rus wandering down the path towards the graveyard. Marowak ran after him to catch up (how did he get so far without them noticing?!) and once again picked him up, this time in a football hold under their arm. That’s it, they were going right back home this instant--!

Oh.

They weren’t alone.

In front of them was a pink Pokemon, dancing around and singing a tune as it walked deeper into the graveyard. Was this pink thing with the curled tail and the brown ears the reason Rus ran off?

“marowak? can we take it home?”

Evidently,  _ yes. _

Marowak sighed and shook their head. Sure, this Clefairy  _ seemed  _ perfectly innocent, but this world was filled with trickery! The second they let their guard down, it was likely to take them both out in one fell swoop. Unwilling to allow this nonsense to go on for any longer, Marowak turned on their heel and started walking back the way they came.

“aww… ok… bye pretty fairy!” Defeated, Rus waves back at the dancing Clefairy and allows himself to be carried home.

The blasted pink monstrocity never even realized they were there at all.

* * *

“alright, from this day forward, yer no longer my pokemon, but my bro’s. got it?”

Red stops at the corner of the street to address the soon-to-not-be-his Marowak, making sure they were crystal clear on this. The world was a scary place, and it was about damn time his little bro got a Pokemon of his own to protect himself with. The kid’s gifted as all hell (of course he is, the kid was born awesome) but sometimes magic just doesn’t cut it in this world.

Marowak nods silently, understanding Red’s stance perfectly. This decision has been a long one in the making, but they both know it’s something that needs to be done. Marowak has been with the older brother for nearly his entire life, and Red knows it’s gonna suck to lose one of his best ‘mons, but neither of them have any regrets.

“heh, i’m sure ya won’t have any problems,” Red continues as they start walking again, “my bro’s a natural - i’m sure he’ll be an even better trainer than me one day!” He starts snickering, admittedly only half-serious. His bro is awesome, but that day is definitely a way’s off.

As their house comes into view, Red finds himself coming to a complete stop. Something’s wrong.

The traps have been activated.

He and Marowak share a brief alarmed look before hurrying the rest of the way there. What ASSHOLE had the gall to mess with him and his family?! Red left Lycanroc there so he’s sure his brother is okay, but… he can’t help but be a bit worried anyways.

Red can’t help but throw open the door, ready to unleash hell on whatever invader might still be lurking about.

“bro?! where are ya? are y--”

His words die in his non-existent throat when he sees the sight before him. The carpet and the wallpaper have tears, and their coffee table has a giant crack in it. It’s obvious a fight happened in here. That’s not what he’s staring at though.

His brother is sitting on the couch with nary a scratch on him, watching TV. Sitting beside him is a small black-and-white dog with a red muzzle. The moment Red walked in the door, the dog leapt to its feet and started barking and growling at him, as if  _ he’s  _ the intruder here.

“marowak!” In an instant, Marowak brandishes its club while Red summons a collection of magic bones of his own. Overkill for one puny dog? Maybe, but NO ONE fucks with him or his brother--!

“DOOMBRINGER, QUIET! STOP BARKING AT SANS!”

Almost immediately, the Houndour shuts up and sits back down, though it continues to glare at Red. Red, on the other hand… was not expecting this. He still hasn’t registered what’s going on even as Edge speaks up again, leaving him to remain in a battle stance like an idiot.

“BROTHER! YOU ARE LATE!” Edge may have still been young - just shy of his older brother’s height - but that didn’t stop him from playing the part of the angry mom. “IF I DIDN’T KNOW ANY BETTER, I’D COMMEND YOU FOR WORKING A WHOLE DAY FOR ONCE, BUT I’M SURE YOU’VE JUST BEEN SLACKING OFF AT THE CAFE AGAIN!”

Still not quite comprehending the situation, Red only allows himself to relax a little bit - still keeping his bones active. “uh, bro? what… what th’ hell is that  _ thing  _ doin’ on ‘r couch?”

The Houndour starts growling again, but Edge doesn’t reprimand him this time and instead starts petting him. “DOOMBRINGER IS NOT A ‘THING’! HE IS MY POKEMON - I, THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, CAUGHT HIM MYSELF! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Stars, he even named it and everything.

Red just  _ cannot  _ right now. He can’t. Here he was, about to give his bro one of his best Pokemon… and turns out the little shit already caught and tamed one himself! Yeah, Red is a little miffed.

...But he’s also  _ really  _ impressed. Ugh, how did he end up with such a cool bro?

Welp, gotta play it cool. Time for a change in the script.

“...well shit. always knew this day would come.”

Edge narrows his eyes suspiciously at his brother, unable to hide his interest. “WHAT? WHAT DAY?”

Obviously, Red still needs to give his bro a Pokemon he can actually rely on. His bro is great at everything he does and will definitely be able to whip that mutt into a fighting machine, but until then Red just isn’t going to feel content with leaving them alone. Not in the kind of world they live in.

“there’s a tradition in ‘r family,” Red begins, walking over to sit down on the couch. He makes sure to give the Houndour plenty of space to glower at him from. “catching yer first pokemon… it’s like a rite ‘f passage. proof ‘f yer strength.”

He peeks at his brother from the corner of his eyesockets. His suspicion has eased up, and he’s listening with rapt interest. Of course, his brother was too proud to just  _ accept  _ a Pokemon - especially after already proving he could catch his own. So he’d have to convince him he wants it.

“i got marowak when i caught my first ‘mon.” He pauses to let Edge whip his head around to look at Marowak, who catches onto Red’s scheme and nods. “it was like, this huge honour an’ shit. anyways, what i’m sayin’ is that… welp, guess it’s yer turn. i know yer gonna be a great trainer, bro.”

Edge looks back and forth between his brother and Marowak, and then down at Doombringer. After a moment of contemplative silence, he looks back up at Red with a furrowed bone brow.

“BROTHER, IS THIS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR HORRIBLE JAPES?”

“what? no--”

“BECAUSE YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU TELL AWFUL JOKES LIKE THIS!”

“bro, come on. would i joke… about  _ this?” _

Red takes out Marowak’s Poke Ball and holds it out towards his little brother, who suddenly has widened sockets. Slowly, as if still expecting some kind of trap, he reaches for it… and takes it into his hand. Edge takes a moment to examine the ball before looking back up at Red, eyes filled with awe. The older skeleton can’t help but let out a chuckle. Man, it’s going to  _ suck  _ when his brother gets too old to fall for his stupid bullshit.

But at least for now, he used his childlike naivety for something good.

“welp, i’ll leave y’ two--  _ three  _ alone fer now.” He can’t help but shoot a glare at the Houndour as he stands up. “i’ll go get dinner in a bit.”

“YOU BETTER NOT FALL ASLEEP AGAIN, SANS! OR ELSE I’LL SEND DOOMBRINGER TO DRAG YOU OUT OF BED!!!”

“good ta know ya already taught ‘im t’ fetch,” Red jokes as he heads for the stairs, resulting in a groan from his brother. 

Halfway up the stairs, he hears Edge loudly whisper to Marowak: “WAS HE TELLING THE TRUTH? ARE YOU ACTUALLY MY POKEMON NOW???”

Red chuckles to himself for the second time that evening, stopping at the top of the stairs. Ugh, there’s  _ his  _ stupid mutt, just lying at the top of the stairs like a useless piece of garbage. Frustrated, Red nudges its red-and-white body with his foot, earning him a low growl in return.

“hey! why’d ya let that lil  _ shit  _ into th’ house?? huh???”

In Lycanroc’s defense, it doesn’t look too happy about having a new housemate either.


	2. Smells Like Fish (UT/HT)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _* Its reckless leaps make it easy pickings for predators. On the bright side, many Pokémon enjoy longer life spans, thanks to Magikarp._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternate chapter title: "sans' posse of useless pokemon"
> 
> happy new pokemon game day everybody! this is probably the chapter length you can expect from now since aside from cubone/marowak and another yet-to-be-seen reoccurring partner, any given pokemon only appears in one or two AUs at most.

Welp, looks like the kid is progressing just fine through Waterfall. Sans is just about ready to wrap things up here - throwing away all his remaining toilet paper concert tickets - when he spots a very particular gaggle of Pokemon.

“hey, it’s my favourite three ‘mons!” Figuring he could spare a rest before he takes a shortcut to Hotland, Sans approaches the trio chilling by the waterside. The skeleton sits down on the cold cave floor right beside the Slowpoke, giving it a pat on the head. It does not react, as per usual.

But that’s okay.

“chillin’ today too? that’s cool, i could use a break myself.” Slowpoke doesn’t respond and just continues staring out at the water, while the Abra floating beside it stays quiet as well. Sans knows the Abra is sleeping - it  _ always  _ is - and honestly? He’s jealous. He could go for a nap right about now. Watching the human was a lot more work than he anticipated. 

Slowpoke and Abra were Pokemon of few words, and Sans totally understood that. Didn’t make them any less enjoyable to be around. Now, the third Pokemon present--

“Karp! Karp!” The red fish flopped around uselessly in the shallow water, greeting the skeleton as he joined them. Magikarp is such a cool dude and is always trying his best. It reminds Sans of his brother, who is also a super cool dude. If Papyrus came out to this part of Waterfall more often, they’d probably meet and become great friends. 

“heya pal. how’s your training going?” Magikarp starts flopping more determinedly, trying to show off its progress. “oh wow, you’ve definitely improved. keep it up.”

Pleased with the compliment, the fish bounces around a moment longer before finally coming to a stop. It sighs out a sad “karp”, musing about how it has hit a roadblock in its training. It just doesn’t know how to get any stronger!

“aww, hey, don’t worry about it. i’m sure an idea will just  _ splash  _ into your m--”

“Slooooow.” Man, this guy’s timing! Sometimes it takes a solid five minutes for him to react or respond to something, and other times it’s just a delay of a few seconds. It’s totally unpredictable. What a guy. 

“a trainer, huh? hey, that’s not a bad idea,” Sans agrees. “bet you could find someone who knows how to bring out your full potential.”

“Karp???”  _ But who would want me as their Pokemon??? _

“Slooooooooooow.”  _ I bet Saaaaaans knows somebody - he knows everybodyyyy. _

“Karp?!” _ Really Sans?? Do you know somebody?! _

“what? you’re asking me?” Put on the spot, Sans immediately thinks of his brother. But his bro has been helping a lot of Pokemon lately, and while he wouldn’t say no to another one, Sans hesitates anyways. 

Besides, he has a better idea.

-

The human comes across Sans in a narrow cavern corridor right after emerging from a lantern maze. Magikarp is beside him, flopping on the dry rocks.

_ * hey, cut me some slack. undyne’s up ahead, so this is the only place i can use. _

We cut the skeleton some slack so we can watch him try to peddle this worthless fish to a literal child.

“look kid, i’ll cut right to the chase,” he starts as the human approaches, who’s looking between Sans and the Pokemon curiously. “this guy right here? you’ll never find anything anything like it. one-of-a-kind ‘mon right here. and with a little love… well, let’s say you’ll never need to rely on another pokemon again. so, whaddya say?”

The human stares at the fish dubiously, clearly smart enough to know something’s up. But what the hey, why not? The kid is about to go pick up Magikarp (who starts flopping in excitement), but Sans holds out a hand to stop them.

“whoa, hold on there. you didn’t think i was just giving you such a rare pokemon for  _ free, _ did you?” The kiddo makes a face. “don’t look at me like that - i swear it’s worth it. your ol’ buddy sans would never lie to you, right?” Still unamused. “wow, ok, i see how it is. 500g. deal?”

The human sticks out their tongue. “geez, stingy, are we? how about 5000g then?” Nope! No deal! The kid starts walking away, and now Sans decides to be serious about this. After all, he really does want to see this ‘karp fulfill its dream.

“ok ok, i get it. no more jokes. 50g, final offer.” Listen, a skeleton’s gotta pay bills. Money makes the world go ‘round, et cetera. The human stands still for a moment, thinking, before turning back around to go through with the deal. Sans feels awfully pleased with himself as he watches the human count out the right amount of gold and drop it into his skeletal hand. “heh, pleasure doing business with ya, kiddo.”

The human holds out their arms towards Magikarp, and the fish immediately leaps at them, knocking them over. Sans can’t help but snicker as he takes this time to take one of his infamous shortcuts.

Next stop: Hotland…

* * *

Stars, he could really go for some sushi right now.

It’s such a funny thing to think about, when Axe accidentally comes home in the middle of his brother cooking eggs. It’s not even meat! Why is he thinking about fish? That’s the funny thing about having such a broken memory - sometimes you just get these…  _ flashes  _ for no discernible reason.

It’s annoying.

“BROTHER, IS THAT YOU?” Crooks calls from the kitchen, and Axe realizes he just missed his opportunity to duck back out. Ignoring the gnawing pains in his SOUL, the shorter skeleton sighs and trudges over to the couch.

“yep, ‘s me.” Axe plops down onto the couch, immediately burying his face in the Altaria that lay there. She’s definitely seen better days - her skin has faded to a sickly blue while her cloud-like wings seem to have become a permanent grey no matter how much she cleans them. But said wings are still soft as shit, and it’s just what Axe needs to help him sleep away the hunger. The Altaria rests its head on Axe’s skull, and the simple gesture is… comforting...

“... SANS?? DID YOU HEAR ME? UGH, DON’T TELL ME YOU FELL ASLEEP!” Axe didn’t realize he had dozed off so easily, but he’s jolted awake by his brother holding a plate of scrambled eggs near his face. If Axe had eyes, they would have rolled back in his head from how  _ delicious  _ it smells.

“GET UP, YOU LAZYBONES! DINNER IS READY!”

“i-i, uhh…” His single eyelight is so fixated on the pool of yellow-and-white that it takes him a moment to  _ realize  _ exactly where that egg came from.

He wish he could say the realization killed his appetite.

“s-sorry bro, i forgot to tell ya: i already ate.”

Crooks gives him the same deadpan he always gives him when he tells this lie. “LET ME GUESS: FRIED SNOW AGAIN?”

“hey, don’t knock it until you try it.”

“WHY WOULD I KNOCK ON IT? WHO’S ANSWERING???” Before Axe can reply, Crooks shakes his head. “NEVERMIND, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR KNOCKING HABITS SANS, I MUST BRING FOOD TO THE REST OF SNOWDIN!” To the older skeleton’s dismay, his brother puts the plate of eggs down on the table instead of taking it with him. “I KNOW YOU SAID YOU’RE NOT HUNGRY, BUT I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE THIS HERE… JUST IN CASE! NYEH HEH HEH!” And with that, hurries back into the kitchen as fast as his poor, crooked body will take him. Axe waits, pretending to go back to sleep until he finally hears his bro slam the door on his way out. With a sigh, the skeleton sits up and glares at the scrambled egg, as if it was personally offending him.

He won’t eat it.

He  _ can’t. _

His Altaria stares at him, watching silently as Axe struggles with his hunger. When it’s clear that he’s not going to give in today either, she cranes her neck over to the plate and grabs the egg with her beak. The bird Pokemon expertly tosses the egg into the air and catches it in her mouth, snapping her beak open and shut a few times before swallowing.

And with that, the egg is gone.

As much as he hates the fact that his Pokemon has to do this for him (especially since she had shared his  _ hesitation  _ in the beginning), Axe can’t help but let the relief wash over him. He just… can’t do it. He’s lost memories, he’s lost friends, he’s lost a few morals here and there (but hey, who needs em, am I right?!), but this… if there’s one thing he can hold onto…

_ * i dunno. _

_ * whatever. _

He’s started tugging at his socket again, but that’s not the thing that brings him out of his thoughts. 

It’s the  _ laughing. _

Axe decided long ago that  _ that asshole’s _ crackly cackling is just the worst sound of all time. He wishes he could smash the cocky red piece of shit into bits, but that would involve destroying the oven, and… they kind of need that.

Fuck ghosts, man. What are they good for? Literally nothing. Can’t eat  _ or  _ kill them. Ugh.

As Axe dips his phalanges further into his socket and curls up on the couch, he finds himself thinking about sushi again. For some reason.

_ * i sure hope wherever that damn fish ended up is better than here. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: swapfell sans finally makes his debut lol.
> 
> like i said in the first chapter, two chapters is all i had in my drafts and idk if i'll be finishing the third chapter soon. buuuut if you liked this shit and want to see more, perhaps consider leaving a comment? seeing people interested is what makes me motivated to write more lol.

**Author's Note:**

> if you like my writing, feel free to follow my twitter dot com @Yoshichao where sometimes i talk about what i'm working on (which is currently OC content, but if you poke around my bio you might be able to find sneak peeks or updates for fanfics and stuff).
> 
> thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read this!! i hope you have a wonderful day <3


End file.
